


stay.

by wintercatpaws



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:37:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintercatpaws/pseuds/wintercatpaws
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aH</p>
            </blockquote>





	stay.

**Author's Note:**

> *cries in 40 different languages*

before you kiss her, you'll question yourself. you'll wonder if it's even the right thing to do, or if you should back out. you'll be excited, and scared, and anxious the whole time. but when you look at her, you'll feel it. it's not like it is in the movies, or books, or the stories people tell. you won't hear your heart beating in your chest because you won't notice anything but her. you'll look down, she'll look down, it'll be awkward, but it won't stop you from wanting it. you'll whisper to her and she'll whisper right back. and you'll start to realize that all those predictions you had are _nothing_ like the real thing.

when you kiss her, it'll be soft. soft like a pillow, or a dream. soft like her. you won't know how to react at first, but close your eyes. let yourself learn as you go, and whatever you do, don't pull away before she does. when she moves her mouth, move yours. if her tongue brushes your lips, do the same. mimick her movements. when she moves her hand to rest on your shoulder, grab her arm and hold on tight (but not too tight). hold on to the moment. document it. you'll want to open your eyes to make sure it's real, and you'll close them again when you realize it is. your mind will be on nothing but the movement of her lips on yours, yours on hers. your mind won't wander, because in that moment she's all that matters to you. you won't want to pull away, no matter how hard it gets to breathe. in that moment you're floating. your surroundings fade away and everything just melts in to _her_ and you'll _love it_.

after you kiss her, your breaths will be heavy. you'll make them shallow and distant to keep the moment. your forehead will go to her shoulder, hers to the back of your neck. the silence will be there, but it won't be deafening. you'll wonder what just happened, and why you were ever scared in the first place. you won't want to leave or do anything else. and when you both finally sit back and look at each other, your head will loll backwards and you'll laugh quietly and smile. you'll say it was great because you don't know what else to say, and before you know it, it will be over, even though it seemed like it would last forever.

that night when you go home, you'll be the happiest you've been in a long time. you'll take so many pictures of yourself smiling and your lips and you'll record the date (February 25, 2016) and post _everywhere_ about it because you're just so happy. you'll go to bed that night and have the best sleep of your life.

and then, the next day, you'll see her again. and it won't be awkward, it won't be strange, but it will be comfortable. you'll still be carrying the happiness from last night, and when you say goodbye to her after 2nd period you won't be sad.

but after school, you will be sad. now you actually can feel your heart beating in your chest, but it's not good. your throat will feel tight but you won't let yourself cry because you knew this was coming. you're leaving, she's staying, you have no right to be sad. you'll go through the rest of the day with that feeling, and you swear it's almost physical pain in your chest. and finally, after the sun goes down, you'll stop holding it in. not that you had a choice. you won't even be able to see your hand in front of your face because the tears won't stop coming. you listen to a slow song about kisses and it's the stupidest thing you've ever done because it just makes it worse and now it has manifested into physical pain, you're positive. she'll text you and it will only make it hurt more. you won't understand it. you try to distract yourself from the pain and sadness but nothing feels right and nothing makes it better. nothing will make it better. if only you could stay. you'd kiss her as many times as you could. you'd kiss her until the sun exploded or dimmed out. you'd kiss her until the human race is extinct and earth is nothing more than a ball of mass in space. you'd kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her, every chance you got. if only you could stay, you would kiss her.

you want to stay.


End file.
